snap to viewNow that Hancock is a hit , citizenry may be tempted to describe it as the first example of a whole new musical genre : the superhero who ’s a walk ( or flight ) catastrophe . But do n’t believe the hype : there have been caped catastrophes for nearly as long as there have been superheroes at all . flick through for our roundup of the most black and least can - do of our spandex - endure protectors . With minor freebooter for old comics and TV shows , in all likelihood .
The Greatest American Hero . presently to be a major motion picture , probably starring Will Ferrell or Jack Black . This TV show features probably the most archetypal semi - competent hero , pure with out - of - dominance pilot and break apart into things . Ralph Hinkley loses the direction manual for his super - suit and is stuck strain to figure out how to verify its awing king by himself .
Ambush Bug . really , is Ambush Bug even a hero ? In his first coming into court ( which I have somewhere , and which is probably deserving a whole dollar now ) the teleporting insect guy tries to assassinate the mayor of Metropolis . But he quickly becomes a kinda - sorta superhero , who mostly mocks the conventions and tropes of comics and gets killed over and over again . He also fails to hold open his dame crony , Cheeks The Toy Wonder , from being dismember . Poor Cheeks .
Most of The Tick ’s support cast of characters . At least in the animated TV show ( It ’s been incessantly since I read the comics ) , the Tick is a semi - competent grinder who often misses what ’s right in front of him . But at least he cope to vote out his enemies most of the prison term , with the help of his sidekick Arthur . Most of the other hero i the Tick ’s worldly concern , like Die Fledermaus , American Maid and Sewer Urchin , are too self - absorbed or silly to be much use most of the time .
Most of the cast of Jim Valentino ’s normalman . Normalman crashes on a planet where he ’s the only non - superhero , but most of the superheroes he meets are worse than useless . Sure , Captain Everything has every super power ever , but he ’s so dim - witted he usually just make matters worse . And Levram ’s main superhero team is too busy taking attending to do anything else .
The Legion Of Substitute Heroes . They ’re the superheroes whose powers are n’t nerveless or utile enough to join the succeeding Legion of Super Heroes , but they keep trying anyway , and ultimately do save the humanity from an foreign flora invasion . Antenna Lad can tune into receiving set broadcasts from any earned run average , but only at random . Chlorophyll Kid can make plants grow fast . Color Kid can change the colouring of any object . Infectious Lass can inflict disease , but has a hard prison term get this ability the right way . Etc . etc .
Rod Rescueman is a bumbling superhero in the animated movie Twice Upon A Time . He ’s got his superherolearner ’s permission , which is just a clean piece of report ( but it ’s notarized ! ) . Attempting a praxis hightail it at rescuing a “ damozel in distraint , ” he inhale all the flames around her – then breathes fire at her , singeing her to a chip .
The Inferior Five . Another parody superhero squad , they have the needed lame or out - of - control exponent . “ He can wing — if the wind ’s with him ! ” “ She ’s stronger than an Ox — and almost as saucy ! ” Ha ha , aaaaah yeah . Anyway , weirdly enough they had their own claim that lasted 12 issues .
Irving Forbush . Marvel Comics ’ trailer truck - mascot and hero of its Not Brand Echh comedian , Forbush Man wears a crockpot on his head and stumbles through a serial of wacky adventures .
Major Bummer . Soon to be a major gesture picture ( well , accord to IMDB anyway ) , this short - lived nineties comic was about a slackerwho accidentally catch superpowersfrom aliens . But he just want to baby-sit around on his couch and watch goggle box . unluckily , the aliens also stimulate him to attract supervillains , including a Nazi dinosaur called Tyrannosaurus Reich .
Mystery Men . Already a major motion picture ! William H. Macy , Ben Stiller and Hank Azaria are loser superheroes : Macy ’s The Shoveler , who can wield a shovel , Stiller ’s Mr. Furious , who has rage power , and Azaria ’s “ decadent British superhero ” The Blue Raja . Loosely based on the awe-inspiring Flaming Carrot comic by Bob Burden , this movie shows 2d - pace superheroes who finally do victory over the A - list supervillain Casanova Frankenstein .
Kinnukiman wasone of the most influential charactersin the Japanese Shonen Jump anthology comic back in the day – aweak superherothat you ’d call on if all the other , adept heroes were n’t available . A muscularity - recoil idiot , he was always get into bats scrapes . Later , he turned out to be an alien prince , and he went off to crusade in an intergalactic wrestling confederacy .
Nuklear Man : Like Hancock , the hero of Brian Clevinger ’s novel The Nuklear Age has memory loss , and ca n’t retrieve anything before he appeared in the rubble of a atomic attack on Metroville ’s power station . Also like Hancock , he has Superman - esque powers and is totally self - plunge and obnoxious … plus , he ’s easily distract by sheeny objective .
Superflop was the alter ego of British comic Les Dawson , the superhero who run out utterly to protect the town of Leeds from the Masked Fred . ( Dawson ’s show Sez Les , on a regular basis featured John Cleese and Olivia Newton John – a combining that ’ s laborious to imagine . ) Superflop also got tostar in his own comic stripin Britishcomics magazine Look - In .
The Roach is the all - intention rack - in for every lame superhero , in Dave Sim ’s misanthropic comic Cerebus . The Roach ’s other guises include Wolveroach , MoonRoach ( a take - off on obscure superhero Moon Knight ) and Punisheroach .
Super Melvin is possibly the dumbest ventriloquist ’s blank of all time , operated by ventriloquist Jeff Dunham . Here’sa cartridge holder of his human action , from Comedy Central .
Zeromanwas an animate series a few years ago , star Leslie Nielsen as the ne’erdowell protector of Fair City , the alter self-importance of mailman Les Mutton .
Webcomic VG Cats features Pantsman , the alter egotism of the comic ’s generator , who disguises his identity bywearing underpants on his top dog .
Demolition Man . Poor D - Man . He started out so hopeful , as a topnotch - grappler who refused to discombobulate a fight with the Thing from the Fantastic Four . ( How exactly do you bemuse a fight with the Thing anyway ? Lose more ? ) Later , it turned out he was addicted to super - strength drugs and had to kick . Finally , in the pageboy of Daredevil , he go nuts and jump stealing jewellery think he was collecting infinity gem for a “ Cosmic Gamemaster . ” He was living in a pitiful toilet den , until Ben Urich sent D - Man ’s beau ideal Daredevil to get him out of there .
maitre d' Rightful is “ the incompetent , armless superhero ” in Jay Stephens’graphic novelThe solid ground Of Nod .
Red Tornado . Theoriginal Red Tornadowas Abigail “ Ma ” Hunkel , who put a saucepan ( yes , again ) on her head and go out to struggle crime . But she rip her pants and had to go home again . afterward , she was replaced byan mechanical man that used to be evilbut is n’t any more , who has the awesome power of making wind . Yeah .
Wonderella is sort of a ditzy female rendering of Superman , in thewebcomicThe Adventures Of Wonderella .
Commenters daviddonne and Johnny Zito point out that I somehow forgot the Great Lakes Avengers , the midwestern branch of Marvel Comics ’ flagship superintendent - squad . They ’re mostly moderately useless , like Mr. Immortal , who ’s like Torchwood ’s Captain Jack – kill him and he just spring back . But the group has a ringer : Squirrel Girl , who can control squirrel and somehow manages to get the better of Doctor Doom and a figure of other A - list supervillains single - handed .
And then commenter Trystero target out I missed The Pro , a sex worker who gets superpower from tamper aliens . She ’s really quite an in effect superhero , but she ’s also a bad theatrical role manikin , urinating on a vanquished enemy and using her superspeed to give tons of blow jobs for a speedy gain . you’re able to translate the whole thinghere , for now at least , but be warned – it ’s pretty NSFW .
Thanks to Lauren Davis and Graeme McMillan for enquiry help .
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