Gwen Stefani with sons Kingston and Apollo on stage.Photo:RB/Bauer-Griffin/GC
RB/Bauer-Griffin/GC
Gwen Stefanimade some amazing memories touring with her little boys, but it was not easy.
The rock star mom, 54, appears on an upcoming episode ofThe Skinny Confidential Him & Her Show’s podcast, where she discusses what it was like trying to find balance as a mom to her three sons and as a touring musician.
Stefani got a hand on touring with a little one pretty quickly, bringing oldest sonKingston, now 17, on the road with her at just 9 weeks old.
Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
Gwen Stefani with husband Blake Shelton and sons Kingston, Apollo and Zuma.Steve Granitz/WireImage
She continued nursing despite her hesitance, “because it was just such an incredible … I waited my whole life to be a mom. That’s all I wanted, my entire life and so I didn’t end up stop nursing.”
When the tour was over, Stefani was tired but full of memories and gratitude. A month later, she got pregnant with her sonZuma.
“With Zuma, when he turned 9 months, that’s when I went back in with No Doubt and we did another 60 shows together,” she said. “We went back on tour with the babies and, that took it to another level. That was like, ‘I think I’m going to be dead after this tour.'”
Gwen Stefanie with husband Blake Shelton and sons Zuma, Apollo and Kingston.Frazer Harrison/Getty
Frazer Harrison/Getty
Stefani recalls having “no downtime” during those years, “but I really wanted to do it desperately.”
“I just didn’t have anything left in me. And I was going back in to work with them. And I got pregnant with Zuma. And I think everybody was really like disappointed, you know? But it was fine, I had Zuma and we just kept going in the studio and we ended up writing this record calledPush and Shove.”
Stefani recalled feeling “guilty and selfish” leaving her kids to go work, and then frustrated when “no song would come.”
“I’m not with my kid, and I’m like spending time wasting it because I’m not good enough to write a frickin song,” she shared.
“I’m like 43 years old, and it’s this true miracle, and every time I would go the doctor, I was like, ‘He’s gonna say this is not gonna work out,’ and every time he’d be like, ‘Looking great.'”
She continued, “I think the band was like, ‘What the hell?’ I had Apollo and it was a true miracle.”
Then one day, with a house full of people, Stefani got another life-changing call, asked to step in for a pregnantChristina Aguileraon NBC’sThe Voice.
“That was the second miracle. The first miracle was getting pregnant. The second wasThe Voice. And then the third was, obviously, meetingBlake.”
source: people.com
