Mel and Marilyn Boudin, my parents.Photo: Courtesy of Michelle Boudin
My dad first saw my mom the night she was crowned Carnival Queen at Queens College in New York in May 1961. But it would take a blind date, a seven-year breakup and a chance encounter at a singles resort to finally bring them together. More than 50 years after they reunited, they can’t be apart. Literally. My mom needs my dad to live.
Today, laying in bed battling low blood pressure that leaves her robbed of any energy, she remembers the first time she and my dad met.
“I got butterflies,” my mom, Marilyn Boudin, 79, tells me. “He was tall, dark and handsome and he was considerate and kind.”
“I told my friend that night that she would win. She was just so beautiful,” says my dad, Mel Boudin, now 80.
It would be months later that my dad realized he was dating the girl he’d admired from afar.
Here’s my mom, Marilyn Boudin, with family after she was crowned Carnival Queen at Queens College in New York in May 1961.Courtesy of Michelle Boudin
He liked her so much that he gave her his fraternity pin. Back then that was the step just before couples got engaged. After a year together, they thought it would be a good idea for their parents to meet. It wasn’t. My dad’s parents were convinced that if they got married too soon, he’d never become a dentist — and unfortunately, they weren’t very nice to my mom about it.
A few days after the start of the new year in 1962, my mom broke up with my dad. She admits she purposely waited until after the holiday.
“I wanted a date for New Year’s Eve,” she says now, sheepishly.
My dad was devastated.
“She broke my heart,” he says. “I thought she was the woman I was going to marry, and I was beside myself when she broke it off.”
Both admit to enjoying the single life in New York City and dating around quite a bit.
Fast forward almost eight years to the July 4th holiday weekend in 1970, when both randomly ended up at the Green Mansions resort in Lake George, New York.
My mom remembers sitting with her friend and seeing someone she thought she recognized in the distance. My dad remembers seeing two women — one short, one tall — and taking a closer look. Both of my parents say they remember slowly walking towards each other as they figured it out.
The first thing my mom asked? She wanted to know if my dad was a dentist. He was not.
The first thing my dad asked? He wanted to know if my mom was single. She was.
My parents, Mel and Marilyn Boudin, at a family event not long after they started dating.Courtesy of Michelle Boudin
He somehow convinced her to go on a canoe ride. If you know my mom, you know she must have really wanted to be with my dad to agree to that. (It was her first and last canoe ride.)
They spent the weekend together, and just before separating, my dad asked for my mom’s number. He said he would have to take some time to really think about whether he was up for a chance at a do-over. He called her three days later.
“I really had planned on waiting to call her, and I just couldn’t wait,” he says.
Turns out, back in New York City, they both lived on the Upper East Side, around the corner and a block away from each other.
They went to coffee on their first date this second time around. And that was it. By April my dad knew he wanted to propose, but my mom, a teacher, had planned a spring break trip in Mexico with her friends.
My dad is not necessarily known as the best gift giver in the family, nor the most romantic husband, but back then, as he recalls, he was head over heels and wanted my mom to know it. A computer programmer, he wrote my mom a special love letter using computer code and mailed it ahead to the hotel where she was staying on vacation. My mom remembers reading it over and over, even bringing it down to the beach each day with her.
“It was on these punch cards, and each card had one line,” she says. “One day a gust of wind came through and the cards scattered. My friends and I had to chase them down the beach to collect them.”
They got engaged when she came home and were married four months later. (Never great with change or making a quick decision, my mom actually made my dad wait three days before saying yes to the engagement. At the wedding, she even hesitated briefly as the music played and she was supposed to be walking down the aisle. Thankfully my uncle gave her a literal shove to get her moving.)
My parents, Marilyn and Mel Boudin, after getting their COVID-19 vaccines.Courtesy of Michelle Boudin
This past summer they celebrated their 50th anniversary in lockdown.
“It was a magical day of reminiscing,” my mom says. “We’ve had so many great times together. I wish we could have had a big celebration, but it was nice just being together.”
My mom went intokidney failurejust as the pandemic was starting in 2020, and they had to manage her health while keeping her safe fromCOVID-19.
I rang in 2021 alongside my parents, Marilyn and Mel Boudin.Courtesy of Michelle Boudin
Most nights they were playing cards with friends, attending Broadway shows and staying out later than I do. My mom even led a book club for retired teachers. But things slowed down considerably with both the onset of the pandemic and my mom’s increasingly bad health.
She started home dialysis in April of last year, meaning every night she is hooked up to a machine that does the work of her kidneys, ridding her body of all the toxins that have built up throughout the day. My dad completes the 50-step process of connecting her to the machine every single night. It is simultaneously heartbreaking and heartwarming to watch.
The last few months have been particularly difficult as she’s struggled with a number of different health issues. At times she’s been unable to get out of bed for days. My dad does the laundry, cooks for both of them and helps her bathe.
My mom, Marilyn Boudin, snuggling with me when I was a newborn.Courtesy of Michelle Boudin
“I realize what a burden it is, and if he were a different kind of person, he could have just walked away,” my mom says.
“She’s my best friend,” my dad says. “I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s frustrating that this is what’s happened to her, but at least I know that what I’m doing each night is helping her.”
Both agree on a few things about what’s made their marriage work so well for so many years. They’re compatible, they like a lot of the same things, they respect each other and they’ve mastered the art of compromise. Most importantly, they really like each other.
My father Mel Boudin and I.Courtesy of Michelle Boudin
“Marriage is something you have to work at — it doesn’t just happen,” my mom says. “And we do, because we love each other.”
Adds my dad: “When we got married, we’d both dated around a lot. We knew what we wanted and we were both ready. We happened to find the right one. It’s been a great 50 years. It’s been a really great life.”
He still opens her car doors and still says he can’t believe he married the Carnival Queen. My mom says she married her best friend and is grateful every day she said yes. Me too, mom. Me too.
source: people.com
