Bethany Joy Lenz.Photo:Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagicBethany Joy Lenzis not afraid to share her story.The formerOne Tree Hillstar, 42, is gearing up to open up abouther experience in a cultin her newmemoir set to be released early next year.While the actress has not disclosed many details about what she went through, she recently shared withE! Newsthat part of what led her to leave the undisclosed cult was a collection of “wild, vivid dreams” that she had after being at a crossroads with her faith.“I was very frustrated in my faith and I had lost a lot of it along the way,” she said. “And one of my prayers was just sort of like, ‘You have to just meet me where I am because I don’t even know if I know who you are anymore,’ And that’s how God just kept showing up for me in spite of the fact that I was thrusting a middle finger up into the air and being like, ‘Screw you!'“Bethany Joy Lenz.Rodin Eckenroth/GettyLenz explained that she ultimately “hit a breaking point” after her feelings of fear and isolation only grew larger.“There’s lots of highs and lots of lows, and at some point, you just are like, ‘Can I get off this ride, please? What’s wrong with me? Why am I so up and down all the time?'” said Lenz. “And sometimes it just takes a few people at the right moment saying, ‘It might not be anything wrong with you.’ And that can be a relief.“The singer-songwriter has previouslycredited her experience onOne Tree Hillas one that also assisted her in deciding to leave her cult.“I was there nine months out of the year in North Carolina,” she said of filming the show in an interview withVariety. “I had a lot of flying back and forth, a lot of people visiting and things like that, but my life was really built in North Carolina. And I think that spatial separation made a big difference when it was time for me to wake up.“One Tree Hill cast.Frank Micelotta/GettyWriting about her experiences is something that has proven to be rewarding for Lenz. She shared in a conversation with PEOPLE that it has beenpart of her “recovery.“Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.“Recovery looks different for everyone, depending on your experience of trauma,” she said. “I had to start from a baseline of my personal understanding of God and the experiences I had had. And then there was a lot of going back to who I was before and remembering that, and then acknowledging that there was so much I just didn’t know.”
Bethany Joy Lenz.Photo:Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic
Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic
Bethany Joy Lenzis not afraid to share her story.The formerOne Tree Hillstar, 42, is gearing up to open up abouther experience in a cultin her newmemoir set to be released early next year.While the actress has not disclosed many details about what she went through, she recently shared withE! Newsthat part of what led her to leave the undisclosed cult was a collection of “wild, vivid dreams” that she had after being at a crossroads with her faith.“I was very frustrated in my faith and I had lost a lot of it along the way,” she said. “And one of my prayers was just sort of like, ‘You have to just meet me where I am because I don’t even know if I know who you are anymore,’ And that’s how God just kept showing up for me in spite of the fact that I was thrusting a middle finger up into the air and being like, ‘Screw you!'“Bethany Joy Lenz.Rodin Eckenroth/GettyLenz explained that she ultimately “hit a breaking point” after her feelings of fear and isolation only grew larger.“There’s lots of highs and lots of lows, and at some point, you just are like, ‘Can I get off this ride, please? What’s wrong with me? Why am I so up and down all the time?'” said Lenz. “And sometimes it just takes a few people at the right moment saying, ‘It might not be anything wrong with you.’ And that can be a relief.“The singer-songwriter has previouslycredited her experience onOne Tree Hillas one that also assisted her in deciding to leave her cult.“I was there nine months out of the year in North Carolina,” she said of filming the show in an interview withVariety. “I had a lot of flying back and forth, a lot of people visiting and things like that, but my life was really built in North Carolina. And I think that spatial separation made a big difference when it was time for me to wake up.“One Tree Hill cast.Frank Micelotta/GettyWriting about her experiences is something that has proven to be rewarding for Lenz. She shared in a conversation with PEOPLE that it has beenpart of her “recovery.“Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.“Recovery looks different for everyone, depending on your experience of trauma,” she said. “I had to start from a baseline of my personal understanding of God and the experiences I had had. And then there was a lot of going back to who I was before and remembering that, and then acknowledging that there was so much I just didn’t know.”
Bethany Joy Lenzis not afraid to share her story.
The formerOne Tree Hillstar, 42, is gearing up to open up abouther experience in a cultin her newmemoir set to be released early next year.
While the actress has not disclosed many details about what she went through, she recently shared withE! Newsthat part of what led her to leave the undisclosed cult was a collection of “wild, vivid dreams” that she had after being at a crossroads with her faith.
“I was very frustrated in my faith and I had lost a lot of it along the way,” she said. “And one of my prayers was just sort of like, ‘You have to just meet me where I am because I don’t even know if I know who you are anymore,’ And that’s how God just kept showing up for me in spite of the fact that I was thrusting a middle finger up into the air and being like, ‘Screw you!'”
Bethany Joy Lenz.Rodin Eckenroth/Getty
Rodin Eckenroth/Getty
Lenz explained that she ultimately “hit a breaking point” after her feelings of fear and isolation only grew larger.
“There’s lots of highs and lots of lows, and at some point, you just are like, ‘Can I get off this ride, please? What’s wrong with me? Why am I so up and down all the time?'” said Lenz. “And sometimes it just takes a few people at the right moment saying, ‘It might not be anything wrong with you.’ And that can be a relief.”
The singer-songwriter has previouslycredited her experience onOne Tree Hillas one that also assisted her in deciding to leave her cult.
“I was there nine months out of the year in North Carolina,” she said of filming the show in an interview withVariety. “I had a lot of flying back and forth, a lot of people visiting and things like that, but my life was really built in North Carolina. And I think that spatial separation made a big difference when it was time for me to wake up.”
One Tree Hill cast.Frank Micelotta/Getty
Frank Micelotta/Getty
Writing about her experiences is something that has proven to be rewarding for Lenz. She shared in a conversation with PEOPLE that it has beenpart of her “recovery.”
Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
“Recovery looks different for everyone, depending on your experience of trauma,” she said. “I had to start from a baseline of my personal understanding of God and the experiences I had had. And then there was a lot of going back to who I was before and remembering that, and then acknowledging that there was so much I just didn’t know.”
source: people.com
