10 Movie Remakes We’re Glad Never Happened

There is aplague of remakessweeping across the land right now . While some remaking are decent or worthwhile , a band of them are pointless at skilful and mockery at worst . And a lot of them are clearly terrible ideas . Here are 10 movie remakes we are overjoy never got made .

Oh , and the Akira remaking is n’t on this list because we still are n’t 100 percent sure it ’s utter — they keep dragging it back up from the swamp .

1) Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Last we checked , Joss Whedon was still awake . Which means that any seek to relaunch Buffy on the big projection screen should likely have his interest or thanksgiving . This attempt to remake the 1992 movie did not — and it also sound like a terrible hard cash catch , with a freshman scriptwriter and an attempt to “ reinvent ” the character . This project is apparently dead , and good exclusion . As we said at the clip , we need more characters like Buffy — just not more Buffy .

2) Yellow Submarine

Sometimes a movie is a intersection of its time — and attempting to refashion it decades later just risks creating a pastiche . Such is the instance with the Beatles ’ Yellow Submarine , which is such a quintessentially 1960s movie that it ’s backbreaking to imagine what it would even wait like in the 21st century . Then there ’s the added problem of , how do you recast the Beatles ? ( It’salready been tried . ) But that ’s not even the deal - breaker . The deal - ledgeman is thatthis flick was going to be a motion - capture adventure from Bob Zemeckis , using the same “ weird valley ” touches that gave us Polar Express and Beowulf . The dismal failure of Mars Needs Momstorpedoed this Submarineonce and for all .

3) Time Bandits

Like Buffy — and like a few of the other project on this list — Time Bandits is the work of a singular Lord , who ’s not all in and is n’t ask in any attempts to take it back . Whether you love or detest Time Bandits , it ’s a pretty unique picture that blend Monty Python - ish humor with dark fantasy touches , with one of the barren endings of any Thomas Kyd ’ movie ever . In March 2011 , two former execs from Handmade Films , which made Bandits , announced they were in talks to reboot it as a child - friendly action - risky venture franchise . Which is a stunningly frightening estimation . fortunately , a month later , execs from RHI , which may own some rights to Bandits , process the Handmade White House , and the whole thing got tied up in court . The arrangement works !

4) Videodrome

really , we ’re not 100 percent sure this one is all in — it ’s been two years since any newsworthiness was announced , so fingers crossed . The classic 1983 David Cronenberg film was set up as a remaking by Universal Studios in 2009 , with a script by Ehren Kruger ( who wrote the last two Transformers photographic film . ) Kruger need to reimagine Videodrome as “ a declamatory - scale leaf sci - fi action thriller , ” informed by the possibility of nanotech . Exactly two year ago , Universalannouncedthat Adam Berg , who had previously made some TV commercials , was signed up to take this film — and we ’re hoping that two years of radio secrecy since then means the project is securely in growth hell .

5) The Neverending Story

In 2009 , Warner Bros.announced it was in talkswith Leonardo DiCaprio ’s production caller Appian Way and the Kennedy / Marshall Co. about creating a modernized , update version of this classic 1980s phantasy motion-picture show . ( And it ’s hard not to feel as though “ modernized ” means “ consume all of the affectionateness blow out of it ” in this setting . ) Luckily , in 2011,The Playlistcaught up with producer Kathleen Kennedy , who said : “ Nothing ’s ever been able to be resolved with the rightfield , unfortunately . It ’s very , very complicated with Warner Bros. ” So do n’t believethat Modern rumorthat Michael Bay is directing this remaking : it ’s not happening .

6) Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure

There have been two options for Bill and Ted blow around for a while now — a sequel , which would feature the middle - aged Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter confronting the fact that their lifespan were n’t as excellent as George Carlin assure , and a remaking . The sequel could be frightful , but at least it has a script by the original creators and Galaxy Quest director Dean Parisoton board . The remake , meanwhile , was announced back in 2008 , andwould have made Bill and Ted tenth grader . This meter around , instead of the old deadening payphone , they ’d have a “ funkier ” method of transportation . Their band would be the Atomic Gorillaz instead of the Wyld Stallyns . And they would have meet Gandhi and Calamity Jane . The script was reportedly full of “ pelvic arch ” pop finish references . Thank goodness this is likely completely dead .

7) Highlander

Like The Crow and Akira , this is one of those projects that restrain coming back again and again — so it ’s hard to say if it ’s really dead . But it keeps lose director . First Justin Lin ( Fast Five ) was set to send , then he leave the project and was replaced by Juan Carlos Fresnadillo ( 28 hebdomad by and by ) . And last year , he was replace by Cedric Nicolas - Troyan , who was a second - unit theater director on Snow White and the Huntsman . Also off the undertaking : Ryan Reynolds , who was gear up to star at one point . With an inexperienced theater director and no wizard , this project is reckon less and less likely to have a Quickening any time shortly . The last we heard , the script was a lot mopier than the original , and focalise much more on the idea of an immortal who can never love anybody , because mass always die .

8) Short Circuit

At one degree , this remaking was depart to be helm by the director of Paul Blart , Mall Cop , Steve Carr . But then Carr left the task and was interchange by Tim Hill , director of Hop , Garfield 2 , Alvin and the Chipmunks and Muppets from Space . Hillpromised a darker , grittier remakethat explored the issues raised by the use of drones in warfare . He also assure that Johnny-5 would look more formidable : “ The original was cute . But no one was threatened by it . ” There have been at least three script tipple : one by original God Almighty S.S. Wilson and Brent Maddock , one by Dan Milano ( Greg the Bunny ) , and one by Matt Lieberman . This film was slated for a summer 2013 release , which has thankfully come and die . So fingers crossed this one is really idle .

9) Mannequin

Back in other 2010 , there were reports that this movie about a windowpane - dresser and his mannequin that hail to spirit wasgetting remade . Gladden Entertainment , which put out the original movie in 1987 and went bankrupt in 1994 , was behind this relaunch . But four age have go through since then , and Gladden has n’t gotten this , or any other film , off the ground . And it ’s probably for the good — how could any picture show nowadays hope to capture the wonders of young James Spader terrify a shopping center , a windowpane - dresser obsessing over making the best window arrangements , or a mannequin get a line the joy of shopping ? ( And there ’s also the fact thatdepartment storehouse have been declining for over a 10 , and it ’s hard to conceive of a remaking of this film that ’s not fix in a department store . This motion picture is a product of an era when section stores were still an institution , albeit the tail end of that geological era . )

10 Rocky Horror Picture Show

There have been a duet attempts to make a new version of this lightning - in - a - bottle cult classic . MTV was prove to make its own adult - filmdom version , but in 2009 insidesources told io9 that was on hold , probably forever . And then around the clip that Glee didits disgraceful Rocky Horror tribute episode , Glee creator Ryan Murphyannounced he was in talks to refashion the picture . There ’s been no news since October 2010 , and with Murphy busybodied with other projects , we can credibly stop haunt over whether we ’d want to throw Elmer Rice or something else at a Glee - inspired big screen Rocky remake . Seriously , one thing that unifies a lot of undertaking on this list is : “ It was a product of its prison term , move on . ”

extra reporting by Meredith Woerner .

HighlanderJoss WhedonMoviesshort circuitTelevisionTime BanditsYARM

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